And so it begins. Another season of The Bachelorette, featuring Assistant DA Andi. Let me first say that the show only being an hour and a half (versus two hours) was MUCH appreciated. We open with a somber Chris Harrison, honoring the late Eric Hill and dedicating the season to him. Let's take a moment of silence for this guy, who is incredibly hot btw.
A shorter (yet still cheesy) opening montage is next, featuring Andi wearing a bright yellow shirt as a dress, making slight digs at Juan Pablo with her dad, and trying on ugly gold lame dresses with her sister. Wasn't thrilled with her final dress choice for the limo arrivals, but let's get on with it and MEET THE GUYS!
Andrew: Social Media Marketer
Told Andi their names would sound good together; formed a bromance with Patrick. Rose.
Bradley: Opera Singer
Sang for the guys (yet not for Andi - odd). Surprisingly, rose.
Brett: Hairstylist
Brought a lamp from the hotel to meet Andi. Like a giant floor lamp. Um. Rose.
This brings us to a fantastic photo Chris Harrison posted on Instagram, citing "I love lamp."
Brian: Basketball coach
Nothing memorable to me about this one. Rose.
Carl: Firefighter
Cute but also not super memorable. Rose.
Chris: Farmer
Sweet Iowa farmboy. Rose.
Cody: Personal Trainer
Has a weird blond mohawk and came in pushing the limo. To which Andi smartly replied, "You sure are out of breath for a personal trainer..." #burn. Rose.
Craig: Tax Accountant
Sorry - I really don't remember him either! Rose.
Dylan: Accountant
Let it be known that on ABC's website he lists his favorite drink as "apple juice." Rose.
Emil: Helicopter pilot
Shot himself in the foot by telling her his name was "anal, with an M." Dude. Don't bring up anal at the first meeting! (Save that for the third date. Hey-oh.) No rose.
Eric: Explorer
Cute, brought Andi dolls from his many travels. RIP. Rose.
Jason: Urgent Care Physician
Inexplicable 1990s hair; he asked Andi if she had a fever because she was HOT! Ohhhh no. No rose. And a very sad exit interview to the camera, saying he had nothing to go back to. Aren't you a doctor, guy??
JJ: Pantsapreneur (yay!)
Makes wild patterned pants. Wears bow ties. Overly excited. Pantsapreneur is not a real job. I will call him "Pants." Rose.
Josh B: Telecommunication Marketer
No rose, but got very heated in his exit interview. Dropped some f bombs, said it was all just embarrassing and the show was stupid. Now THAT was embarrassing.
Josh M: Former Pro Baseball Player
Hot. Andi's type. Lives in her hometown. Did I mention hot? Rose.
Marcus: Sports Medicine Manager
Lives in Texas, but is from Europe - although after telling Andi Polish was his first language, he barely speaks Polish. Then says he focused on German, but barely speaks German. Andi thinks he's dreamy, so maybe he should just not speak ANY language. Rose.
Marquel: Sponsorship Salesman
Sharp-dressed man. Has a cookie tasting for Andi, complete with a black and white cookie - "Look to the cookie." Rose.
Mike: Bartender
Flowing locks and sort of Fabio-looking. No rose. Clearly Andi likes her men well-groomed with short hair. Take a note.
Nick S: Pro Golfer
Arrives in a golf cart. That's all I got. Rose.
Nick V: Software Sales Executive
Gets the first impression rose. Has 10 brothers and sisters. Dark horse. Seems shy and quiet until we see previews from the rest of the season - Nick means business, yo!
Patrick: Advertising Executive
Bromance with Andrew. Rose.
Ron: Beverage Sales Manager
Rose. Seriously don't remember seeing him except for at the rose ceremony.
Rudie: Attorney
Asks to approach Andi (ah, attorney humor). Looks like Mark Ruffalo to me, but no rose. Ru-die! Ru-die! Ru-die!
Steven: Snowboard Product Developer
Surfer dude who is stoked to be there. No rose, bra.
Tasos: Wedding Event Coordinator
Can't figure this one out. Possibly gay? Andi is intrigued. Rose.
Chris from Emily Maynard's season also shows up in the driveway, wanting another shot at love. Andi says no thanks, and it's painful watching him refuse to leave. Finally he does, taking his bouquet of sad sad roses with him. WTF.
The season seems brewing with dramz, which is why we watch, so bring it. BRING IT PANTS.
No comments:
Post a Comment