Bachelor recap: voulez vous couchez avec moi

Arie and his harem are in gay Paree, and the girls get to shack up on a fancy house boat on the Seine - ooh la la. The last Lauren standing gets the first one-on-one date, and doesn't say much. Arie is even convinced she's just not that into him, but thankfully they both open up over dinner. Arie tells a sad story about getting his heart broken by the woman he dated after Emily who had two kids of her own. Apparently she got pregnant with his child, but then lost the baby and left him. Ouch. Lauren tells him she was engaged before and it's hard for her to open up - she usually puts guys in the friend zone for a while first. Too bad there's no time for that on this show...still, she gets the rose.

The group date hits the Moulin Rouge - which I thought was a topless establishment, but apparently they just wear thongs. The girls work with a choreographer to compete for a spot in the show, and young Bekah wins the coveted position as well as the rose. The other ladies had to watch B and A perform (and I use that word loosely, as Arie's lip synching was awkward as hell), and needless to say they were not amused.

The dreaded two-on-one date is next, but in a twist, Krystal is the first contestant in history to be excited to be one of the two. She has a strange self-confidence and feels she will trounce poor Kendall (and she DOES best her in the maze, reaching Arie first). Krystal bashes Kendall to Arie, saying she's not ready for love. He of course brings this up, and Kendall confronts Krystal, but the turns the other cheek and says she feels sorry for Krystal. This finally leaves Krystal speechless. Thankfully Arie sees through her throaty baby voice and velvet top and leaves her alone to ponder life (albeit with an amazing view of the Eiffel tower.)

The final one-on-one date goes to Jacqueline, who I don't really remember seeing before this. They shop at Ports 1961 after their sporty convertible breaks down and they have to Uber like normal folk. Over dinner, Jac talks about pursuing her PhD, and Arie doesn't want to hold her back. Screw it - she gets the rose.

At the rose ceremony, Jenna (who?) and single mom Chelsea say bon voyage as the group gears up for Tuscany. Sadly Lauren isn't thrilled and I fear she will be leaving of her own volition...