Come live with me

Almost every day, I see this beautiful golden retriever roaming in the street close to my house. He is all matted and tragic looking, and I'm so afraid he will get hit by a car. I so want to lure him into my car, get him a bath/haircut, and then scan him for a microchip but also secretly keep him. You will be mine, sweet guy. Oh yes, you WILL be mine.