Bless.

1. Sad about the lost dog
2. Even sadder about the spelling of "neutered"

The never, the never, the almost never and North Carolina

So we're in the Final Four (again). But I'm not going this year - mostly because I don't want to be stuck somewhere (namely, Phoenix) if we lose on Saturday. Going to Final Fours in Texas is great - you can just drive home if need be. But to be stuck out there for three more days would be brutal. I'm not the kind of fan who would go watch the final even if (North) Carolina wasn't in it. Sorry not sorry. I'm going to be sad, and I'm going to want to go home.

Now all this being said, if we WIN and I'm not there, I will also be sad. And since whenever I go, they lose, they will probably win the whole damn thing. You're welcome, Tar Heel Nation.

LinkedIn Love??

Yesterday was my 6-year work anniversary, and several people reached out on LinkedIn to say congratulations. Many people I don't even know - perhaps I shouldn't accept every friend request?

But I also got this one this morning:

Well now. I don't know this guy, but maybe I should??

Better than ear wax, I suppose

So I survived the Color Run - it was less colorful than I expected. Basically people in each of the "color stations" dump colored chalk on you as you run by. I did get hit pretty hard in the pink station - two big blobs in my hair and one in my ear. To the point that, 4 days and 4 showers later, I still get pink on my Qtip when I clean my ears. Pretty!

I gave her my heart, she gave me...shoes

On Friday I went to watch the UNC game, and met UNC alum Jesse Holley. He played both football and basketball for UNC, even playing on the 2005 national championship team. He then played pro football for the Bengals and the Cowboys, and lives in Little Elm. I will be honest - didn't really know who he was before. But he was so fun and personable - willing to take pictures with everyone, chatting and letting people (ahem, ME) wear his championship ring - that I have a newfound crush. I wore my UNC Chuck Taylors (not really Chucks, but they look like them), and he said if they had them in a size 12 he would wear them. So what do I do? Get on my phone and buy him a pair. $70 shoes for a guy I just met. Clearly I have been single for too long. I had to get his home address to ship the shoes, so I'm sure when he gets them (if he doesn't think it's like an explosive device or something) he will be super weirded out.

Annnnnd scene.

Taste the rainbow

Doing the Color Run tomorrow. I've never run it before, and it looks like a blast. A blast of color, that is. I'm honestly wondering if my shoes/interior of my car will be ruined, so I might bring a towel to sit on on the way home. Someone even told me to put leave-in conditioner in my hair so it doesn't stain?? Luckily I have a hair appt tomorrow afternoon so she can deal with it. A little unicorn color never hurt anyone, right?

Speaking of unicorns, I must learn to make rainbow grilled cheese. I am OBSESSED. And I don't even like grilled cheese.

Can't believe it's not gutter

So I joined a bowling league with friends in an effort to be social  - although for $65 I would have expected actual bowling shirts, not sad t-shirts - and I am absolutely awful. Worst on the team. Last night I did get two strikes, but this other guy got 6 in a row in the first game and 8 out of 10 the second game. Alrighty then. If anyone needs me, I'll be at the snack bar.

One more basketball post. Sorry.

I thought March Madness was widely known, but maybe not so much in Texas? On Friday, we hosted a March Pat-ness happy hour at a local sports bar, and when I arrived to set up none of the TVs had the games on. I had to ask the bartender to change the channels, and he had to ask me what channels those were. (Thankfully, they had DirecTV so I spouted them off quickly.)

On Sunday, we went to the club to watch the UNC game. Newsletters and weekly emails indicated there would be March Madness parties, including game schedules and times, so we arrived all decked out in our Carolina finery to find a few tables of dudes watching golf. Again, had to ask the bartender to change the channel, and again, he had no idea what I was talking about or what channel he needed. (Again, yay DirecTV!)

Then yesterday, my boss popped her head in to see how the happy hour went, and asked if I should go turn on the games in the break room. I had to inform her that there were not any games again until Thursday.

DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. Or should I just move to basketball country.

A Tuesday without a Bachelor post is like a fish without water

...not sure what to do with myself, really. It was nice having that time back last night (and this morning, when I would normally be recapping) - I instead devoted my energies to more impressive habits: watching other shows on TV. My three new obsessions:

• Imposters
• The Arrangement
• Feud: Bette vs Joan

Yes, my life is Just. That. Interesting.

Annnnnd breathe

GAH. That game was a little too close for comfort last night. (Since MOST games were close, I'll be more specific - UNC v Arkansas). I went from feeling great about life to wanting to hurt someone to reading the obituaries because I simply couldn't watch anymore to joyously jumping up and down when UNC pulled out the win.

And this roller coaster is perfectly summarized here:

http://m.goheels.com/mobile/ViewArticle.dbml?atclid=211527918&DB_OEM_ID=3350&

(NOTE: Somehow I am still in first place in the bracket. Guess everyone picked as badly as I did??)

Queen of Madness

Still tied for first in my office bracket pool. I am never first in these things. I'm sure things will go rapidly downhill after today's games, but for now I will sit back on my throne and enjoy.

(also, damn you Florida Gulf Coast. If you had won I would be perfect right now!! #dunkcity)

Lick it up, baby - lick it up!

I've decided I need to invest in a croquet set for my backyard. To complete my Heathers transformation. #goals

Back to the drawing board

It's a sad day when you run out of your favorite night cream, only to learn that it has been discontinued. (However, it can still be found on Amazon for $100+. It's Burt's Bees, people. Worth about $8.) Had I known, I would have pulled an Elaine Benes and stockpiled (a la sponges). But no. RIP, carrot nutritive night crème. I will miss you.

Bachelor recap: crossing the Finnish line

Thank god that's over, amiright? ABC blows the budget and flies Nick's enormous family to Finland to meet the final two ladies. Many have already met Raven, including little sis Bella, who's a big fan. But Vanessa makes a good impression as well, causing Nick's dad to tear up. She clearly still has some doubts, but meeting his family makes her fall more in love with him. She even says she'd be willing to leave behind everything she knows in Montreal for him. #kissofdeath

The ladies each have another one-on-one date with Nick: Vanessa has a magical day of horseback riding through the snow in Lapland, ending up where else? Santa's house! This is not a joke, people. Santa comes out and asks what they want for Christmas. And producers make Vanessa say something like "Santa Claus is more of a feeling, a belief. That's like my relationship with Nick." Alrighty. She also tells Nick she doesn't want to win just because Raven doesn't quite cut it - she wants to be his one and only. He just can't confess this to her yet, because there's another date on the line!

Raven and Nick ice skate to "Kiss Me" and the date is complete with husky puppies. Damn you, Nick. Can't say no to puppies. Raven is living in the here and now and is cool with uncertainty, unlike Vanessa - way to pick two polar opposites, producers Nick!

But clearly Nick prefers more of a challenge, for he sends Raven back to Hoxie and proposes to Vanessa. Since he's now doing Dancing with the Stars and she literally lives in another country, I give this 6 months.

At the After the Final Rose, I am half-expecting Raven to come out wielding a stiletto, but she's perfectly genteel. As a reward, Chris Harrison invites her to Paradise. As long as Corinne will be there too, I'm in.

'Til next time..

It's Madness, I tell ya

A few thoughts post Selection Sunday:

• UNC has been a 1 seed more than any other school. Not saying we necessarily deserve it this year, but membership has its benefits, and I'll take it.
• SMU is in. They may not be happy with their seed, but they're in. Now play to show everyone you deserve higher.
• LOVE Northwestern and their reaction to getting in for the first time. #adorbs Plus Julia Louis-Dreyfus' son plays for them and she posted a pic of Elaine dancing (Seinfeld), and it was everything
• Syracuse got robbed

I may or may not have already filled out my bracket, and may or may not have predicted a Nova-UNC rematch in the final game. With a different outcome, of course...

Is it just me, or do I sort of look like Jesus

Snapchat can be a scary thing.

Can I get an AMEN

To who, to whom

Took this grammar quiz the other day, and although I thought I guessed on a couple, I was thrilled to learn that I scored a 25/25. So I passed it on to my co-worker. She also thought some of the questions were tough, but she also scored a 25/25. Interesting. Went home and told my mom about it - she said she took the quiz as well, and ALSO got a 25/25. As did my aunt. And another friend on Facebook. What are the odds??

Find out for yourselves:

http://teacherprobs.com/can-you-get-a-2525-on-this-advanced-grammar-test/

Bachelor recap: TEAM RACHEL

I love Rachel so much, guys. So excited she will be the next Bachelorette. Her dress at the rose ceremony? My favorite ever. But first, Raven and her orgasms. Dear god, this again? Nick leaves their fantasy suite, and Raven announces she is completely "satisfied." Followed by a super cheesy montage of a super-smiley Raven making snow angels, patting dogs and having basically her Best Day Ever. Ew.

Rachel's date is next, and they feed reindeer and have a romantic evening in which she finally lets down her walls to tell him she's falling in love with him. He says he's falling for her too - cue the fantasy suite!

Vanessa has another rough date that tests her limits - jump into a freezing lake and then spring through the snow in your skivvies to a warm sauna. And back again. Fun times! She has some tough questions for Nick - is her traditional family too much? Would he move to Canada? Not sure he really answered any of these (he mutters), but she accepts the fantasy suite invite anyway.

At the rose ceremony, Rachel gets the snow-boot (it IS Finland, after all), and has to walk to the exit limo sans parka. Poor thing is crying, thinking she didn't do enough or tell him how she felt soon enough. Methinks she's going to be just fine.

At the Women Tell All, we hear from Taylor, who cries a bunch and demands an apology from Corinne for messing up her career (she never gets one). Corinne is apparently more well-liked than I imagined by the rest of the ladies, and says she never badmouthed anyone on the show and came off a bit more promiscuous than she intended. (ya think??) Plus, she handed out "cheese pasta" to everyone - the one dish she can make herself. I did enjoy the audience members with "Make America Corinne Again" and "Emotional Intelligence is My Jam" t-shirts. Plus posters saying "I want a Raquel," who is apparently not a nanny but Corinne felt "house-keeper" was too demeaning. Okie dokie.

Kristina makes everyone cry with her Russian orphan story, and inspires everyone including Chris Harrison, who wonders what he is doing with his life. I was hoping to hear from widow Danielle M, but it was time for Nick to face the music. He had never attended a Men Tell All since he was always in the final two, so was psyched to be there. Until he got tough questions from Kristina and Dominique - why did he keep women who were against what he said he was looking for? Why would he let someone go who he had chemistry with?? Cue the blooper reel, stat! (Was that a political comment from Chris Harrison who said, "America needs this right now."??)

Finally, Rachel comes out to huge applause. She giggles over the audience member dressed as a shark-dolphin (shout-out, Alexis) and says how humbled she is to tackle this responsibility. The other ladies are absolutely thrilled for her, and you can tell they truly like and respect her (and want her sloppy seconds). I honestly don't like Raven or Vanessa, so don't care much about next week's finale. Bring on Rachel!

Hopefully they at least keep score the same way

Went to a beginner tennis clinic on Saturday at the "club." I was the only one who showed up, so it became a private lesson. The instructor was totally nice and after three balls said I was not a beginner. (Duh, but I could obviously use some instruction.) My backhand was "perfect," but everything else needed some tweaking. Basically I was playing "1980s tennis." Uh, thanks dad. Apparently tennis has changed a bit over the years? I wasn't even wearing the right shoes, which the instructor also told me. And he gave me a racket to use, because the one I brought which my dad sent was for "old ladies." Okay, okay I get it. Clearly my game could use a tune-up.

As could my physical fitness - I am so sore today I can barely move. (I also stupidly ran a 5K that day, so that's two sports that I never play rolled into one. Awesome.)

New chapter, same old book

So I went out with my first non-white guy last weekend. I am SO with the times, no? (No. Nobody says "with the times" anymore.) Not sure why it took so long - he was very nice and I thought we had a good time. Of course, I never heard back from him, but I'm still proud of myself for getting out there and giving it a try. Cool points: 5; Romance points: 0.

Great tunes and no seasickness! Win-win!

I have been following a band called Yacht Rock Revue for a few years now. They are based in Atlanta, so they never play here, but they are all young guys who wear bellbottoms and leisure suits and play soft rock classics from the 70s-80s. (Think Fleetwood Mac, Paul Simon, Chicago, Billy Joel, Huey Lewis, Christopher Cross...) Sheer genius, if you ask me. They finally came to town last weekend and it was brilliant. I am now 100% obsessed and plan to travel to see them perform again. And apparently they even play on some rock cruise. Make that LIGHT rock cruise. I am soooo there.

Bluebloods

You know you get too much blood work done when the random dude at LabCorp recognizes you from your veins.