Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Bachelorette recap: Hooked on Phonics

Rachel is having a rough time. She just got rid of DeMario (again), and now has to deal with guy drama thanks to Lee and Kenny. I will admit that Lee is super creepy and annoying, literally giving Kenny 16 seconds to talk to her and standing right in front of them while they tried to carry on a normal conversation. He likes to pick fights with the other guys, particularly the black guys - and since recent tweets have proven racist, I guess that's his M.O. Awesome.

After a brief (and very real, making me love her more) cry, Rachel pulls herself together enough to kick off Diggy, Bryce and some other guy. The rest are headed to Hilton Head!

Dean gets the first one-on-one date, and they go up in the blimp. She takes the wheel, he is super nervous, but they kiss and the blimp floats past the guys' hotel and flashes "Rachel and Dean 4evah" to make everyone jealous. At dinner, she hopes he will open up a bit and asks about his family. His mother died of breast cancer when he was 15, and he was basically on his own after that. He cries, she tries not to, and instead gives him the rose. They then "stumble upon" a concert by some guy I've never heard of.

The group date is a huge bunch - everyone but Jack who will get the second one-on-one. They are on a boat (cue the music), and with Rachel rocking the captain's hat, limbo and rap contests, it's quite the booze cruise. Peter even jumps into the rap game, impressing her with his white boy skillz - although I'm not sure mentioning farting is very "street." After the boat, there's another test: a spelling bee. Now, some of the words were legit difficult: boutonniere (which took me about four tries, not gonna lie), etc. But words like stunning? Boudoir? Façade? Coitus? (Yes, that was a word. And no, the guy did not get it right.) Come on fellas. Josiah wins on "polyamorous," but by this point he is working the crowd and taking entirely too long and I'm over it.

I also had to giggle when the "champion" received this trophy:
#typo #spellingbeefail

Lee told Rachel Kenny was the aggressor; Kenny said he didn't handle the situation well but Lee was very disingenuous. Let's just put them both in the ring and let them duke it out, shall we?

TO BE CONTINUED

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