Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Bachelor recap: sayon-Arie

Going to keep this short, as last week's Bachelor recap sadly took me 12 hours to complete. (Thus is life with a newborn.)

Group date #1: GLOB (Glamorous Ladies of the Bachelor). The ladies get trained in the art of professional wrestling from two ladies who were actual GLOWs in the 80s (for some reason, I only thought this was a show - not a reality). Bibiana and Tia give themselves a time-out after getting chewed out by GLOW, but finally suck it up and pull on their costumes (Bridezilla and Scarlett O'Hara, respectively) to compete.

Krystal grabs Arie first because of course she does, and tells him she worries about getting lost in the shuffle. Arie tells her if she ever feels that way, to come grab him. She interprets that as a green light to interrupt any conversation with other women in the future. Goodie.

Bibiana breaks the cardinal rule and trashes another girl (Krystal) during her time with Arie. He moves on to Bekah, who happily makes out with him and accepts the group date rose. TKO, indeed.

This week's one-on-one date goes to Lauren S, one of four Laurens and one of two Laurens from Dallas. Confused yet? Arie whisks her off to wine country, and good news! Lauren likes wine, guys. The date starts out well - lots of cheers-ing and laughing over the fact that they both go to bed early. But then it starts to unravel and her stories are pointless and he seems bored. Sure enough, no rose. Ouch, although it's one less Lauren to keep up with.

The final group date involves puppies, which everyone is psyched about except poor Annaliese, who had a traumatic dog incident in her youth. You may remember she also had a bumper car incident which prohibited her from taking part in the demolition derby last week. Lucky for us, the Bachelor producers decided to put together a reenactment of the dog incident, which was by far the best thing I've seen all season. Perhaps ever. Annaliese tries to get a kiss later in the evening, but the kissing bandit is tired and says they aren't in that place just yet. Oof. Chelsea is annoying as ever and steals time with Arie not once, but twice (second time to make out of course), and snags the date rose.

At the rose ceremony, Annaliese is very worried and flat out asks Arie if he sees a future with her. When confronted, he realizes no he doesn't, and escorts her out. Sayon-arie, indeed. Bekah has some deep thoughts for Arie during their alone time, telling him he is scared of her because she doesn't need him, and everyone else he dates DOES. He is impressed (and scared) - but you know who isn't impressed? Bibiana, who has set up the cute little stargazing couch, complete with candles, and Arie instead brings like 4 other girls there. Damn dude. I guess it's not surprising that the one going home tonight is Bibiana. Bye Felicia.

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