First up: heading to St Louis with Nikki. After some BBQ and stereotypical mechanical bull riding, JP meets her family. They all seem fairly normal, with her father giving the "you sit at this table, you're family" speech. She's in love but can't tell him yet. Get used to this.
Next: Atlanta to meet Andi's family. They hit a shooting range first, which should be foreshadowing on the "looks could kill" that JP is about to get from Andi's father, Hy. (Sidebar: What is "Hy" short for? I really want to know.) Hy is not cool with the whole JP dating three other women thing, and isn't afraid to tell him so, refusing to give his blessing if they get engaged. And I kind of love it. Andi's mom seems on board, asking JP to dance, but her sister is also questioning the relationship. Ruh roh. Andi does decide that she "could be" falling in love with him. Ruh roh again.
Then it's on to Sarasota to meet Renee and her son, Ben (!). So adorbs at his little league game - you can tell Renee is such a good mom. And that JP thinks the best way to bond with an 8-year-old is constant fist-bumping.
Renee's family likes JP, and they just want her to be happy. Aw. This won't end well. Normal families never do.
Finally, JP heads to Sacramento for a very bizarro encounter with Clare's family. All 5 sisters and one brother, plus her mom. Clare looks like NONE of these people, first of all. A few sisters are team JP, but not Laura. Laura is protective of - not Clare, but their mother - and stands guard like a weird secret service agent. She finally agrees to talk to JP, who apparently wins her over so he can speak Spanish with el madre. Whatever. I guess Clare has to cry in every episode.
And speaking of crying, so does Juan Pablo. At the rose ceremony. Again. Poor Renee gets the boot, and has the most awesome exit limo conversation ever. She even tells him she was in love with him and he's the one crying! #wtf #herspidereyelashesaresemiannoying
Looking at the top four ladies, one can't help but think who the next Bachelorette will be. I'm hoping for Andi - she seems like the most logical (and non-crazy) choice. But lord knows they will pick Clare and that should make for some must-see TV.
Tonight: things go awry in the fantasy suite. JP can't perform? Ay yay yay.
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