Bachelor recap: Too many I love you's

In a Bachelor first, Ben decides to smoke the Jamaican ganja and tell TWO of the three remaining women that he loves them. It's possible I was screaming at my TV, "you idiot!" Let's dive in, shall we?

It's fantasy suite time in Jamaica, and Ben and his weird hipster sneaks are ready for action.  First up is Caila, who is so bubbly and happy that she randomly giggles by herself. She is in love with Ben and wants to make sure he knows it, even though he can't say it back (or CAN he??). They float down a river that looks suspiciously like the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyworld, and he can tell something is amiss. At dinner, she tells him what's been bothering her - she's in love! He kisses her instead of responding and they head to the fantasy suite to check out her sex panther ways.

Lauren's date is next, and they adorably set baby sea turtles into the wild. I kind of want one. Lots of cheesy metaphors like "Sea turtles live for 100 years. I hope Ben and my love will last that long." Um, do the math, sweetie. Over dinner, Ben confesses that he cried in front of her sister at the hometown date, and crop-topped Lauren confesses that she has been in love with him for a long time. He shocks everyone by saying he is in love with her, too. Annnnnd cue the fantasy suite.

Ben decides if he's not in love with JoJo, he's going to send her home. But after a magical day frollicking in a waterfall where I can't stop staring at Ben's gigantic stomach tattoo (??), JoJo confesses she loves him and what do you know - Ben feels the same way! At least JoJo's reaction is normal - she steps back and is like, "wait - what??" Knowing full well that he's not allowed to supposed to respond. But oh he does, and after JoJo convinces him that her evil brothers will grow to love him too, they head to the fantasy suite.  So for those keeping track, that's 3 passionate nights, 2 I love you's and at least one pair of denim panties short-shorts.

Ben realizes he may be in trouble here - now Lauren and JoJo are both convinced that they will be the ultimate winner - and he still has to get rid of Caila. She makes that easy by heading to his beachfront property to surprise him. He's not thrilled, and makes the unfortunate decision to tell her he's in love with two women on the island - and she's not one of them. OUCH. She calls him out on feeding her a line, and even gets back out of the exit limo/suv to ask when he realized these feelings. But it didn't help much - she still bawled the entire way home. Yet no mascara ran. Amazing.

At the rose ceremony, both JoJo and Lauren are feeling confident (um, duh) and it's amusing to see each one tell Chris Harrison what went down, as he takes it all in and realizes what an idiot Ben is. Yay! Since there are only two roses and only two women, they both get roses, and then share a threeway hug with Ben as they think about meeting his family. Ah, sister wives.

Next week - the dreaded Women Tell All. Very excited to see Olivia again. #cankles