If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be??

My "team" at work is now down to me. The cheese stands alone. However, the cheese can't do it alone, so I am hiring for two (maybe three) positions. Interviews start today, and I feel like I am terrible both at giving them and getting them! Alas. These are mostly fresh out of school kids so I'll just let them talk about themselves for a while. Millennials like that, right??

Just when you think no one reads this

Talking to my uncle last night, he mentioned something that I realized I had written about on my blog last week. So HI UNCLE MIKE! Sorry about the Bachelorette and Hills ramblings!!

Oh, Justin Bobby

Well I finally watched The Hills: New Beginnings, and I'm just not sure about this. Some thoughts:

• I miss LC. And Lo. And Jen Bunny, for that matter
• Audrina and Stephanie have had so much plastic surgery they are starting to look like each other. Then again, look at Heidi. So what am I saying.
• Cannot believe Heidi and Spencer are still together, tbh
• Brody Jenner. No clue he was married, but semi-amazing that his wife and father share the same name (Caitlyn Jenner)
• Still not sure why Mischa Barton is here - but if Perez Hilton makes a guest appearance next week, I guess it will be worth it?
• Best part for me was seeing Pam Anderson and her seemingly normal son. Poor kid puts up with a lot. And bonus points that she up and moved to France when Trump was elected. #highfive

What the hell is a pro-forma invoice, anyway??

I cannot tell y'all how bad I am at shipping things internationally via FedEx. Like 80% of the time I get a call from FedEx International saying I screwed up the commercial invoice. Why they can't make this easier, I have no idea. (And in case my brother who works for FedEx happens to read this...WHY CAN'T YOU MAKE THIS EASIER) And yet I never learn and continue to send things out like I always have. Which means most things get stuck in customs. I really need an assistant who can do this crap for me. And probably would do a much better job. Just saying.

What is this, 2001?

Just a little excited that The Hills is back tonight. And in another month or so, 90210 will be back. What's next - Friends? #daretodream

This kid!!

Y'all. Georgie can count to 10. She sometimes skips four and five, but considering she's not even 18 months I am willing to overlook this. And then this morning she comes into my room and says "peaches," indicating what she wanted for breakfast. SHE KILLS ME.

Like, hi, okay?

Anyone know what that quote is from? If you're a child of the 80s, you should know it's from an amazing episode of Family Ties where Jennifer celebrates her 13th birthday and wants to be part of the cool (and apparently valley girl) crowd. It truly introduced me to valley girl speak back in the day, and even my dad would quote "like, hi, okay?" back then. I so wish I could provide a clip, but for now this will have to do. Like, bye.

Muddy Buddy!!

We are having a charity bake sale today, and I decided to make Muddy Buddy bars for the first time. Chocolate, peanut butter and marshmallow mixed up with Rice Chex - a winning combo. My mom scoffed, saying "I don't like peanut butter, chocolate OR marshmallow." And then proceeded to not only eat several, but make AN ENTIRELY NEW BATCH the next day. And now I am banned from ever making them again. Ha.

Luke P is the WORST

And the fact that Hannah B likes him is KILLING ME. As is the fact that I am so invested in this stupid show. #facepalm

Swiftie for life

If I didn't already like Taylor Swift (and I did), I adore her now. Her latest video for "You Need to Calm Down" is fantastic. Good for her for realizing the influence she has and for taking a political stand. It's rare and brave and I say GO GIRL. Now if I could just get tickets to her concert...

Adulting

Just had frozen yogurt for lunch. Besides cereal for dinner, I think this might be my favorite meal. Probably started in high school when they put a fro yo machine in the cafeteria and that's all we ate (until the rumor got out that it was in fact SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM - THE HORROR!!!!). Old habits die hard. Extra chocolate sprinkles, please.

Crazy cat lady

I parked my rental car out front on Tuesday night since I didn't bring my garage door opener. On the drive to work yesterday morning, I kept hearing what sounded like a cat meowing. Cruising down the highway, I figured I was crazy and it was either a noise the rental car was making or it was coming from someone else's car. But when I pulled into work, the meowing got even louder and I realized there was a cat under the hood. What in the HELL. By the time I got people out to help me, it had bolted inside the Mazda parked next to me (so we named it "Mazda"). After trying to lure it out with milk, water and Chipotle, someone finally called animal control and he was able to spook it out and grab it. It was a tiny little kitten - probably no more than a month old!!! So now Mazda is getting checked out at the animal shelter, and I'm sure one of the girls who helped get it out will adopt him/her. But holy crap the little thing cruised 25 miles with me and lived to tell the tale (tail). I feel like I should adopt a cat as penance.  Meow.

What would Particle Man say??

In an odd "worlds colliding" moment, I learned yesterday that the band who sings the "Hot Dog Song" on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (don't ask) is none other than They Might Be Giants. So random.

Day from HELL

So I had to be at a work thing at 7:30am. Called Georgie's school before I left - no power, so no school. My mom has been super sick since Saturday and I insisted she go to the doctor. She got an appointment for 3, so I told her I would work from home after MY doctor's appointment at 1 (forgetting of course that we still don't have internet access so that was a total wash).
Got to work after the event at 10am and my car was being super sketchy. Took it in last week and the technician said nothing was wrong with it. Well, yes there is. Transmission light. Service engine light. Horrible shaking. So I called another dealership and the guy told me to bring it in RIGHT AWAY, do not pass go. So I was in the office for a whopping hour and drove to the dealership with bated breath - please don't die, little car. Got there, they thankfully had a loaner car for me, and made it to my doctor with 3 minutes to spare. Then home to no internet and a billion work emails. So now I'm at Starbucks where they thankfully have wifi trying to keep my job and my shit together.


GAAAAAAAAAAH

I've got the power

We lost power for about 24 hours, and let me just say I don't know how people post-Hurricane do it for weeks (or years, ahem Puerto Rico). Aside from the annoyances like no TV (thank god it's back on before the Bachelorette airs, amirite), going to bed because, well, there's nothing else to do, wearing your hair in a slicked back ponytail to work because no hairdryer, trying to sleep and it's just so damn hot, etc. - my BIGGEST beef was having to throw stuff in the refrigerator away. Stuff I just bought on FRIDAY. #curses
Could be much worse, I know. And so so glad to go home to an air conditioned home tonight! Where I can charge my phone! And ask Alexa to play Baby Shark! #firstworldproblems

Since when is 56 "senior"??

I booked a grooming appointment for my 8-year-old dog this weekend, and the notification said "Charlie - SENIOR." I mean, she's 8. Not 15. Sheesh. Guess it's like being considered geriatric when you're pregnant over 35. It ain't right y'all. She'll show 'em. Live until she's 18.

Car wars

Well, not sure if I bought a lemon or what, but my "new" car has transmission issues. Oh and 3 recalls. Took it to our favorite local repair place and they "don't do transmissions." So now it's at the dealership and I'm praying whatever the hell extended warranty they sold me will cover it...

Oh, and driving to the dealership I turned too soon and had to get back on the damn highway and go all the way back to where I started. It's been a DAY so far, I assure you. A DAY.

Calgon take me away

Was a true "single mom" from Saturday to Tuesday while my mom was in Austin taking care of my brother post-surgery. The weekend was fine, but MAN trying to get yourself ready for work with a toddler roaming around (I locked her in the bathroom with me while I took a shower, not gonna lie), PLUS getting her off to daycare PLUS rushing home to take the dog for a walk PLUS cooking dinner (hi, chicken nuggets) was no joke. I doff my cap to people who are truly on their own. It ain't easy.

NOT a Bachelorette recap, but some general musings (because of course I'm watching)

Okay. Alabama Hannah. She's gorgeous and kinda quirky, but she's so young it bugs me. Alas. My top picks are Golfer Garrett and Pilot Peter (and not only because they happen to have alliteration-able jobs), but if she doesn't give Luke P the boot soon I might go Beast Mode on the whole thing. Bless her heart.

Aw, poop

So Georgie now knows the word "poo poo." And says it a lot. Which is stressful - do you have to poop? Did you already poop? Do you want to poop in the potty? (No) Did you poop in the tub? (This happened yet again last week and was scarring for both of us) Why do you keep saying "poo poo??" And on and on. Don't be jealous.