25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights. Per house.

I will try to back up this statement with photographic evidence this week, but let me state for the record: my neighborhood is putting up Christmas lights. And I no longer need to be concerned that my Griswold tree outside is an eye sore. In fact, people probably wouldn't even notice it at all if my lights weren't the only ones that stayed on all night. (Seriously - why are people turning them off at 10pm? Is this a new burglar-repellent tactic I'm not aware of? Just electricity-conscious neighbors? Guess it's all fun and games until I get my electric bill.

But seriously y'all. These lights are bad. I am very curious to see who wins lawn of the month for December. Because surely Christmas lights will be involved. Stay tuned.