Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Bachelor recap: No more I love you's

The final four ladies get to bring Ben to their hometowns to be grilled by their families! Fun for everyone!

We start in Laguna Beach with Amanda. (Rough life this girl like leads, like.) Ben is ready to meet her daughters, who appear adorably dressed in matching dresses, sweaters, shoes and pigtails. The older one, Kinsley, warms up quickly to Ben as they chase seagulls around. The younger one, Charlie, wants nothing to do with this show and throws a tantrum on the way home to prove it. #attagirl

Amanda's mother isn't sure Ben is ready for an insta-family, but once Amanda cries about how much she likes him, everyone agrees he is nice enough. Ben reads the girls a bedtime story about him and Amanda, but we are left wondering how it ends. (Perhaps it's like the case of the puppy and the pigeon in Elf...)

Next up: Portland to visit Lauren's family. Lauren is super happy to see him and takes him to some touristy area of the city (including a "Keep Portland Weird" sign, which rivals the very existence of Austin, Texas), ending up in a whiskey library (which she unfortunately pronounces "libary"). Because hard liquor before parents = success!

Lauren admits to the camera and to her sister that she's in love with Ben, but doesn't want to tell him until he passes the family test. Her sister Mollie is skeptical (aka NORMAL), and Lauren's younger bros throw Ben off with questions about the fantasy suite. But Ben tears up when talking to Mollie about Lauren, and she crumbles. Is he in love, or is he just an excellent actor? We shall see...
Even though Ben has seemingly passed the test with flying colors, Lauren can't tell him she loves him. As he drives off, she regrets it and fears she may never get to reveal her feelings! Oh, the dramz.

Ben heads to Hudson, Ohio to meet Caila and her family. She bounced around as a kid and doesn't have "roots," but she wants to show off her fancy high school/favorite bench to him anyway. They then go to her father's toy company and design and build a kiddie house. Kind of adorbs, until producers make them re-enact a classic scene from Officer and a Gentlemen, which Ben and Caila are both too young to have seen:


At Caila's parents' house, we meet her cute parents, and her father starts off asking Ben how it feels to have "microwave fame." Ohh, burn. He then tells Ben marrying into the Filipino culture keeps marriage exciting, even after 24 years. Her mother tells her to go for it, take a risk, but her father tells her to be cautious - he doesn't want her emotions to take over. Although she wants to tell Ben she's in love with him, once again she doesn't. Come on, ladies.

Finally, we're in Dallas with JoJo, and she clearly lives in Uptown. (Of course she does.) She arrives at her condo to find a dozen red roses and a letter, which she assumes is from Ben. But once she starts reading, she realizes it's from her ex-boyfriend Chad (Rookstool, who apparently is a 38-year-old salon owner). #dramz

This upsets JoJo, who calls Chad to end things just in time for Ben to show up. He can see she's been crying, and she explains what happened. Ben is thinking she's going to go back to her ex, but is relieved to hear that she feels much happier where she is and who she is with now. Sorry Chad.

JoJo dries her tears and they head to her family's ginormous home in Argyle, complete with her unassuming father and sister, overly-Botoxed and Restalyned mother, and overbearing brothers (one of whom was on a dating reality show of his own!). The brothers are very protective, basically threatening that Ben would have to move to Dallas because the family is really, really REALLY attached to Joelle, and even telling Ben that he plays mind games on the women. They tell JoJo she likes him more than he likes her, which freaks both Ben and JoJo out. Thanks, bros. And then this happens:


In case you can't see, that's JoJo's mom taking a swig out of the champagne bottle. YASSSSS queen!

At the rose ceremony, it's Amanda who is sent packing. She's stunned, as she was ready to accept a proposal from Ben, and is a little pissed because she thinks he could have told her sooner and not put her through the stress of another rose ceremony. Sorry sweetie - Ben makes these decisions on the fly.

Next week, the final three head to Jamaica for some pot-smoking fantasy suites!

No comments:

Post a Comment