Bachelorette recap: Don't Cry for Me, Argentina

Well, my two faves are gone. And four out of the remaining six look identical, so I guess we know what JoJo's type is.


In Buenos Aires, Wells is the only one who hasn't had a one-on-one (although technically neither has tiny Alex, but he had a 2-on-1 so close enough). He's also the only one who hasn't kissed JoJo yet.  "Ironically," the date card arrives and says "Besame muchacho." So the guys pile on the pressure and poor Wells looks like he's going to hurl. They go to a Cirque du Soleil-type performance, and when writhing around in a pool of water he finally kisses her. She responds with, "You did it!" Bless his heart. But at dinner, all's not Wells that ends Wells, and she doesn't give him the rose.


On the group date, James scores a goal during the futbol penalty kick, but feels ugly and fat compared to the pretty boys on the date with him. And so he decides to use his precious one-on-one time to talk about a poker game he played with Jordan, and how Jordan came off as very "Jordan Rogers." JoJo asks what this means, and JT can't verbalize it very well, but uses the word entitled and celebrity quite a bit. So JoJo pulls Jordan aside and confronts him, and Jordan is not pleased. How dare someone attack his character (although it's probably 100% accurate)?? The date rose goes to Luke, who has such a passionate makeout session with JoJo that I almost had to fast-forward. Dang, son.


The final date is a two-on-one with Derek and Chase. Derek is confident, which doesn't bode well for him. After an awkward threesome tango lesson, JoJo pulls each guy aside at dinner. Derek opens up to falling for her, and their chemistry seems legit. But with Chase, she says she doesn't feel like he's giving anything back to her. So logically she picks Chase to stay and sends a broken-hearted Derek (not ashamed to talk about himself in the third person) home. This makes no sense to me. What DOES make sense? The amazing editing of Derek's limo ride, cutting from him crying to a woman serenading Chase and JoJo with Don't Cry for Me Argentina. CLASSIC.


At the rose ceremony, JoJo balks on sending anyone home and adds an extra rose so Alex and James can stay. Again, this makes no sense to me. Why is tiny Alex still around? He's pissed, though, feeling like they got pity roses, and demands a one-on-one date soon. Oh tiny. So small and so angry.


Until next time...