Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Bachelor recap: A relationship built on whipped cream and lies

Can't do too detailed of a recap today because you know I have a real job, but here's a brief synopsis:

This was basically a Corinne v Taylor episode. We resumed the evening of the rose ceremony with C and T badmouthing each other (although Taylor continues to use "emotional intelligence" like it's a below the belt insult). Corinne tells Nick that Taylor isn't here for the right reasons (ooooh) and even tells Taylor that the other girls feel the same. Not sure that's true, but Corinne later promotes "make Corrine Great Again," so it's possible she is using #alternativefacts.

Sarah and Astrid (?) get kicked off, and the ladies are off to New Orleans! Rachel gets the one-on-one date, and they have a casual NOLA afternoon - beignets at CafĂ© Du Monde, marching in a second line parade, and kissing just about everywhere. These two are very cute together, and you can tell there's a chemistry. She gets the rose.

The group date heads to a haunted mansion, complete with Ouija boards and flickering lights. Danielle M (blonde nurse, not to be confused with Danielle Boobs) gets the group date. Raven accidentally tells Nick she loves him, and is a bit miffed that she doesn't get the rose in return. Sweet small-town Raven.

And then there's the dreaded two-on-one date (two girls, one rose - one stays, one goes): and of course it's between Taylor and Corinne. They head into the alligator-filled swamp in a boat driven by a dude certainly in the movie Deliverance. Corinne uses her one-on-one time with Nick to throw Taylor under the bus, back over her and toss her into a waiting gator's mouth. She says Taylor is a bully and made her feel stupid. And then goes and makes a voodoo doll of Taylor and jabs her in the heart with a pin. (FORESHADOWING) Nick confronts Taylor, who is shocked but unfortunately uses the emotional intelligence line as her explanation. Girl, no one knows what that is.

Corinne gets the rose, and as she and Nick putter off in the swampboat, Taylor just sits quietly, brewing. As Nick and Corinne enjoy a romantic dinner, Taylor makes a pit-stop at the voodoo priestess and gets oils poured on her and chants performed around her. She then pops in on the shocked twosome.
TO BE CONTINUED.

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