Bachelor in Paradise recap: lots of shame in this game

This episode brought to you by a little town called Campeche, Mexico, where all four dates took place - at least two of which at the same table, it looked like. The group is a little shaken by the last rose ceremony, but Michelle thinks she has a future with Marquel. That is, until Danielle arrives with a date card and invites him on a date, since she's been crushing on him and tells him so. Michelle quickly moves on to Robert, but Sarah isn't amused since she went out on a limb and offered him her rose (that still makes me giggle) when she could have given it to Dylan. Robert is convinced Sarah is there for the right reasons (take a drink!), but Michelle is pretty too...#conundruminparadise

Marquel and Danielle hit the pool (in Campeche, of course) and almost get struck by lightning, but apparently Marquel doesn't get the metaphor because he is excited to go on the next date (also in Campeche) with Jackie, who is another new arrival. Methinks Marquel likes fresh meat. He and Jackie vow they don't kiss on the first date, and then kiss. Alrighty.

Crazy Elise gets a date card and invites Dylan Chris, who has somehow sprained his ACL and is in a lot of pain. But he accepts, knowing the odds of getting lucky are in his favor. Theirs is an overnight date, and although they are not offered a fantasy suite but instead two separate room keys, Chris takes the opportunity to create a fantasy suite. Hey-oh. We see Elise walking around the room in a towel and some smooching sounds before Chris says "Ouch, my knee!" Greatness. They end the date the next morning at the hospital, with Elise wearing a super inappropriate outfit. Talk about your walk of shame.

Graham and AshLee go on the exact same date (literally), but Graham was having doubts beforehand. He doesn't understand how AshLee could claim him without even asking him - maybe he wants to get to know other girls! But AshLee, who continues to tell the camera she's not crazy, knows she and Graham are meant to be - she follows him on Instagram, for god's sake! (NOTE: so do I.) Graham seems a bit afraid of her, which he probably should be, so agrees to the date. He seems even more afraid when he learns of her cyberstalking, and pulls the gentleman card by saying they should NOT share a room (gentleman or just scared - you be the judge), but they still dance (or at least AshLee dances for him) and smooch in front of a mariachi band. AshLee is enamored by his polite ways, and says she wants to take things slow as well - and have his babies. Sheesh. Subtle.

Marcus and Lacy continue to grow closer - Michelle says they should just go ahead and get engaged - and Clare and Zack do as well, although Zack seemed excited about Jackie's arrival but accepted his preordained fate of being with a psycho. (This is clearly a common theme.)

Time for the rose ceremony.

Marcus and Lacy
Zack and Clare
Graham and AshLee
Marcus and Jackie (ooh, sorry Danielle)
Robert and Sarah (ooh, sorry Michelle)
Chris and Elise - but wait! He can't give her his rose (heehee). He has to go home to take care of his knee. But would she join him? After knowing him for three days? You bet she would! Dylan who? The others think she is kind of insane for jumping in this quickly, but that's silly. She is COMPLETELY insane. Chris instead offers the rose to Michelle, who he believes deserves a shot at finding love. Aw.

So Danielle leaves alone, and Chris and Elise leave together, apparently. Curious to know how long that lasted. Or didn't.