Bachelorette recap: least dramatic finale ever

We all knew it would be Jordan, didn't we? From the beginning? (Esp because I still believe Robby may be gay.) But JoJo still shed many many MANY tears on last night's finale - Robby or Jordan? Facial hair or future man bun? (I can totally see Jordan having one.) Her family preferred Robby, and immediately that put JoJo on the defensive. Clearly a sign she preferred Jordan. But only Robby asked for her parents' blessing. Big no-no, Jordan. And when pressed on the subject by JoJo, I didn't feel like he gave a very valid explanation. Something about not being 100% sure if he was her pick. And not sure what he would do on engagement day. WTF dude. This would have been a major red flag to me, but JoJo likes the idea of JoJo and JoJo (and of course being in-laws with Aaron Rodgers). Jordan does in fact give the Fletchers a call and gets their blessing, and is able to send JoJo a note telling her so. Robby sends her a note as well - I guess this is a new thing we're doing? As is getting photos taken on each date...odd.


JoJo puts on her best long cream dress to get engaged, and adds some very sparkly high heels. Clearly no one tells her she will be standing in the sand, and the rest of the episode she's barefoot. Guess the stylist needed at least one shot of the shoes to get them for free. JoJo is distraught (again), but has to go with her gut in the end. So although she tells Robby she loves him, she tells him not to propose - her heart has always been with Jordan. Robby is confused and crushed, and decides to lend his name to a line of handkerchiefs and fancy socks.


Jordan proposes, JoJo says yes, he picks her up and swings her around, Bachelor-style. At the After the Rose special, JoJo finally decides to change up her hair and rocks a messy ponytail. She and Jordan are happy, engaged, and moving to Dallas together. They have weathered the tabloid storm and claim to be stronger because of it. I give them about 6 months, but good luck kids.