This is just sad. For me, at least.

My mom told me last week that she had to send out a MASS TEXT to her many suitors, explaining to them why she had been M.I.A. and out of touch. I'm sorry, what?!?! I am in awe/impressed that she has so many dudes interested in her that it would necessitate a mass text, and at the same time a little discouraged/depressed/dejected/insert synonyms here that I only have like two guys' numbers in my phone. And one is my brother.