Guess who's coming to (Thanksgiving) dinner

No, not some weirdo from Match.com - the rat that is apparently living in my attic! Let's be honest - it's probably multiple rats. But I like to think it's just one, very large, very loud guy named Miles Standish (shout-out, Charlie Brown Thanksgiving) who will soon be eating the rat bait and go to that cheese house in the sky (preferably dying outside of my house, thanks). I thought (hoped?) maybe it was squirrels - that's how loud this thing is. But the brave Orkin man who came over yesterday to investigate gave me the harsh truth. Which is so gross and creeps me out so much I can safely say I will never be venturing into the attic again. Done. Pass the pie.