Well, that's embarrassing

Went to a wedding on Saturday. At the reception, someone said I had ice cream on the back of my dress. Wondering how in the world THAT happened, since I hadn't even seen any ice cream, I went into the bathroom to investigate. Annnnnd bird poop. All down the back of my dress. Also wondering how in the world THAT happened. Sheesh. I shouldn't be allowed to ever go anywhere without a chaperone. Or an umbrella, apparently.