Because I'm about to lose a toenail, friends. In the 36 hours since my mom arrived, I have already had two injuries. The first happened before she even got to my place - I was reaching for the phone to give her directions and fell out of bed onto the hardwood floor, slamming my back into the iron bed frame. Needless to say I could barely move yesterday. And can move even less today, after a freakishly heavy nutcracker (we're talking 10-pounder here) came crashing down on toe #2 (the little piggie who stayed home?). Always one with a flair for the dramatic, I let out the most blood curdling scream I could muster, and haven't been able to walk on it since. It's already turned a lovely shade of blue, and I don't think the toenail is long for this world. At least it's open-toed shoe season...although let me just tell you, wearing flip-flops on the elliptical is...different. Because god forbid I skip a workout. The nutcracker could have lopped off the toe completely, and I probably still would have figured out a way to work up a sweat. Nuts, I know. (Pun intended.)
IHGB #342: The Tortured Poets Department
2 days ago
The shriek heard round the world. 8.0 on the Richter scale.
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