Poor white trash

Lately ALL my shoes have been falling apart. I seriously have had to throw away like 6 pairs this year alone. And some were actually decent brands - Charles Jourdans yesterday - but again they were like 10 years old, so I guess I got my money's worth?

Then today I show up to work in a cute dress and notice a huge stain all down the front. (Guess my apartment is too dark in the morning - which makes me wonder how many OTHER times I have left in disarray...)

I am a walking disaster. Ripped shoes, stained dress...classy! No wonder I don't have a boyfriend.